With this monosyllabic instruction, the way before me was lit. With this one word, no longer did I have to grope my way around, hoping not to bump into something in the dark. With this simple word, I was called forward.
Let’s for a moment consider, though, the precursor to this point: me in the dark. I had to step into the dark, into the shadow, in order to step into the light. Seems a little paradoxical? Friend, growth is a paradox, for to come into new life, we must die to the old, must we not? So, yes, it is paradoxical and necessarily so. In order to get to the point of being called into the light, I had to say ‘Yes’ to the shadow. Little did I know, though, what I would be stepping into. The darkness is scary, it’s lonely, it’s uncomfortable and it’s threatening. There were times when I wanted to give up and abandon this thing. However, in the darkness, I couldn’t see my way, so where was I to go? There were times when I hated myself for even stepping into this darkness, but then I would see a little glimmer of light and would remember why I had even dared to venture down this path. I was reminded that in time, I would not have to grope around in the darkness, for the light would illumine my path. At last, the moment I had anticipated was at hand – ‘Lights!’
Ugh! Another single-word instruction! Does it really have to be this way? The scrutiny. The analysis. The introspection. The examination. The light reveals so much does it not? It reveals all the imperfections. It highlights rough patches. The light forces me to face and explore the things that I would prefer to leave in the darkness. What’s more, with the camera rolling, there’s now a record of where I fall short, of where I can do better, and there’s no denying it. Not many are comfortable with that. You see, when there’s no recording, it’s easy to assert that the observer misunderstood. But, with the camera rolling, there is no denying what happens. There is another dimension to the camera, though: it also shows where I’ve done well…sometimes I do need to be reminded of where I’ve actually done something good. I have grown to accept that the camera is not my enemy; on the contrary, the camera is the one that builds my confidence, and so, I accept the next call:
Ahh! Doesn’t feel quite as intimidating as it first did. I beam now under the light and the rolling camera. I no longer fear as I did when I first stepped into the light. I can feel my heartbeat slowing from a frenetic scurry, to a confident pulse. The light is a great place to be. The camera, I know tells me that I am not alone. In fact, I was never alone. In the darkness, though, it was not always easy to perceive the camera. Drawn into the light, I feel the camera on me all the more. I realise now that I do enjoy it. Who thought the light and camera could ever feel like the place where I belonged? Come to think of it, I don’t know why I dreaded it so. The ignorance of the darkness, perhaps?
Ah well, my moment is here. It’s my time to shine!
Friends, I’ll be signing off for 2021 with this piece. To you and yours, do have a beautiful Christmas and a bright New Year.
Until the appointed time, I bid you love, peace and joy.